I have a feeling my drunken foray in to internet dating again is going to provide some brilliant material for you lovely people. Because the whole point in me going through this is just to entertain you lot and has nothing to do with the fact I’m terrified of dying alone surrounded by cats.
So Saturday night a male friend and I put the world to rights over far too much wine (me) and far too much beer (him). In the wee small hours of Sunday morning after me ranting at an eHarmony advert and him sulking that he’s been single for far longer than is healthy for a man with needs we decide to window shop on Mysinglefriend. But the problem with Mysinglefriend is the cost. No decision made at 2am should involve a credit card. So we decided PlentyofFish was a MUCH better idea.
Which brought on the challenge.
In 24 hours, who could get the most messages? Only first messages counted and they had to be from the person directly and not in reply to a message from you.
Within an hour I had received about 40 messages to his one. It seems there are a lot of people on POF in the early hours of the morning. Not all as drunk as I was.
With in an hour I have been called a slag for declining someone’s offer of sex by correcting all the spelling and punctuation mistakes in the proposal, ranted at a grown man for using ‘LOL’ 5 times in one message, informed a guy that asked ‘have you ever had a black man’ that I like my men like my coffee and he might be black but he isn’t hot or strong and generally offended a lot of people in a short space of time.
Male friend still had no messages but was crying with laughter at my replies. So at least it cheered him up eh?
It’s now been 4 days, I have deleted over 150 notifications from Hotmail (and worked out to stop the emails telling me I have messages) and am actually in contact with 4 men. But really it’s all about the blog isn’t it?
So things that have entertained me so far:
• Far too many men think that standing in their bathroom with their phone in front of them is decent photography.
• The pigeon-chested and the meat heads out there don’t wear shirts.
• “Hi xx” is by far the most popular message to send.
• If you don’t get a reply, just keep sending more and more inane messages because that doesn’t make you sound like you’re having a conversation with yourself at all.
• Punctuation is for losers.
• 95% of men on POF are short.
• Asking a girl for sex at 1pm on a Wednesday afternoon is not weird.
• A guy will take you to the Ritz if he gets to eat your pussy – he’s not referring to my future cat there is he?!
So who wants to take bets on how long I last on here until I start to think that getting a cat really IS preferable. We’ll see after next Friday I guess… I have actually agreed to meet someone from this site for a drink. So far so good…