Last March I blogged about a guy from work that I kept seeing at every turn. He was hot and I was starting to look like a stalker. Nothing ever happened and I stopped seeing him all the time a few months later. So last night was a pleasant surprise and I knew I had to talk to him.
I didn’t want to go to this particular party. I’d had a headache all day, I felt fat and it was being held outdoors on the most humid day of the year. But I went. I curled my hair, applied a bright lippy and risked arrest in a strapless maxi dress which I knew made my boobs look so huge that no one would look at the belly. Belly was taken care of in pants that would make Bridget Jones envious. Within 15 minutes of being sat there people were asking if I’d been swimming. I was drenched in sweat and my curls were now stuck to me in sweaty strands. Not attractive in the slightest but I can’t help it – I’m not built for heat (yeah yeah and I chose to move to the desert). I snuck off to a friend’s apartment and found a hair band and dried off. Lippy reapplied I was tolerable. And as I walked back out to the party there he was. All five foot ten of gorgeousness – and I don’t usually go for guys under six foot.
I saw a friend and wandered over to say ‘hi’ and was introduced to her friend. We chatted and the party host came over to say he wanted to introduce this friend to some people. I realised that in the group of ‘people’ was Work Crush. Seize the day SiS – so I did. I joined the group, positioning myself next to Work Crush and joined the conversation. And when he turned to look at me there was definitely something resembling horny butterflies in my stomach. Probably not on his part but we stood facing each other, a little closer than is polite for a first me and his eyes were flirtatious. And then my ex flat mate interrupted. Not one to hang at the back of a conversation hoping he’s resume talking to me I turned to chat to another guy. A lovely guy. A guy that suggested I jump in the pool. Seeing as I had on my Bridget’s this wasn’t happening. Next thing I know I’m being driven home to get my bikini on. Well sod it – I was already looking a bloody mess so may as well get my wobbly bits out and cool off in the pool. And if you want a guy to notice you a Victoria’s Secret push up bikini top is the way to do it.
Whilst I was gone I got nominated to do the ALS ice bucket challenge. So a bit wasted I agreed. Well it was bloody hot so a bucket of iced water was actually a fantastic idea. But who to pour the water? Work Crush stepped up. And as he did, my dress came down. What a way to make yourself seen SiS!
After that there was a bit of ‘accidental’ touching in the pool (yes yes I kept thrusting my boobs in his general direction). But nothing more. So I gave up and joined a very competitive game of volley ball in the pool. The girl that spent ages curling her hair and applying ‘barely there’ makeup was now splashing about in a pool with fat bits flying and makeup down her face. In hindsight I’m lucky that no one ran away in horror. I was not going to get lucky looking like that.
This is a common problem. I am a crap girlie girl and would rather get pissed and muck around with the lads. No wonder they all bugger off to marry ‘wife material’. Still, I had two friend requests on Facebook this morning so I can’t have scared too many people. Neither was Work Crush though. You win some, you lose some. And besides, I was wearing flats. It would never have worked in heels.